


Land of Light and Golden Rain

by redglares_hot_butt



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Pee, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:31:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9575915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redglares_hot_butt/pseuds/redglares_hot_butt
Summary: When Rose and Terezi are deposited on LOLAR, they find that their respective overconsumptions of beverages have left them with unpleasant hangovers - and also with some pressing urges from their bladders. In their state, the trudge up to the house to find a bathroom just seems like too much, and Rose decides the best course of action is for them to relieve themselves on the beach instead. What she doesn't foresee is that Jade's canine side might object, and the grimbark girl might return to re-mark her territory.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted on [tumblr](http://redglares-hot-pee.tumblr.com/post/156815593556/land-of-light-and-golden-rain).

"Well," Rose said, rubbing her eyes and groaning as she lay back on the sand. "That Harleybert family visit sure was something. Hopefully it stays calm now, though. We could certainly use the rest." She still had a throbbing headache, not helped by the light still glaring down from the sky. It also hadn't been helped by all of the chaos of showing up in the B2 session and being slung between planets by grimbark Jade's powers, all while nursing a massive hangover. She had been able to focus for long enough to talk to John when he showed up, but with that moment passed she was back to just feeling gross. 

"Yes. Calm would be nice," Terezi grumbled, leaning back on the wizard statue she was sitting near. "Maybe a dim planet that's calm on these stupid eyes. And maybe a seer companion who's calm with the incessant babbling." 

"Touché. But I am skeptical that groaning quietly to ourselves would make things better. Perhaps if we talk through it we could find a way to help with our predicaments," Rose replied, still holding her hands over her face. She took a deep breath and sighed. "I doubt the mechanisms between human alcohol hangovers and troll clown-soda hangovers are the same, but perhaps similar remedies would work. Do you have any ideas for that?" 

"Well. Moving out of the glaring light would help. And maybe also away from the noisy light player," Terezi said, still sounding irritated. When Rose glanced over, Terezi motioned to the large house they were next to. "This is your hive here, right? How do we get inside and can we find somewhere dark?" 

"For the latter question I'm sure we could. For the former... if I recall correctly we climb this hill, cross the rainbow stream, and ascend a set of stairs or two," Rose replied, squinting her eyes and glancing off in the appropriate direction. "Ugh, if only Dave could have built a door right over here." 

"Blaaarr!" Terezi complained loudly. "That's way too much climbing. I mean, I guess we can, but ughhh." 

"I agree, the rewards would be great but I may require a few minutes to build the energy to get up and go," Rose said. Nonetheless, she did sit up and stretch her arms out before rubbing her eyes again. Then she suddenly remembered something, and retrieved a bottle of water from her sylladex. "Oh, yes, Kanaya kindly supplied me with a captchalogue card full of these. Water is a good idea for helping with my sort of issue, at least. Would you like a bottle too?" 

"Euuurgh," Terezi replied, sticking out her tongue in disgust. "No! That's the last thing I want right now." 

"Ah, my apologies," Rose said, pausing to take a big swig from her bottle. It felt refreshing, and the throbbing pain in her head seemed to recede a little bit. She quickly chugged half the bottle, and it was only as it started to settle in her stomach that her body reminded her of something else. It had been a while since she had a chance to use a bathroom, and her drinks earlier had made their way to her bladder by now. She definitely needed to piss, but not badly enough that it had been at the front of her mind, at least until she had started to drink more. Rose shifted her position slightly, grunting a bit as she turned to look at Terezi. "So I suppose water doesn't help combat Faygo-induced sugar overloads for trolls? Is there anything better to drink?" 

"Eurgh! No, water would be fine, but drinking anything is the last thing I want to do right now!" Terezi snapped back, and proceeded to press her hands against her thighs. It was only then that Rose noticed her companion was squirming and seemed to be working to squeeze her thighs together as she sat on the sand. Apparently all of the liquid Terezi had drank earlier had filled her bladder too. Terezi glared over with a frown, and seeing that her predicament was obvious said, "So where do I find a load gaper around your land anyway?" 

"Um, well, there's one on the second floor of my house. Assuming no client players or consorts have destroyed my plumbing since I've been there," Rose replied, having already started pondering the same question. It wasn't really that far away, but the climb to get there certainly seemed like it would be unpleasant in her current state. "I'm not sure how much I really feel like making that trek just to relieve myself, though." 

"Well, do you have a better suggestion? Do you have a backup load gaper somewhere closer by on this obnoxiously bright planet?" Terezi said, grumbling to herself as she squirmed a bit more. "Ugh, how did I let this wait so long anyway..." 

"Alas, no, I believe that's the closest actual load gaper to our location," Rose said, finding that Terezi's squirming was only heightening her brain's sudden focus on her own need to pee. And at this point she had moved past the idea of actually trudging up to the bathroom and was considering other options. "Well... I mean, we are outdoors after all. Is there any reason we couldn't just empty our bladders right here and now? Perhaps that would make us feel better." 

"Just piss ourselves right here on your land? With all of the bubblegum turtles watching?" Terezi wrinkled her nose and glared over at Rose, but her tone didn't sound totally averse to the idea. "Isn't that considered inappropriate in human culture?"

"Sort of, but one can make allowances for emergencies. And I would hope we aren't in poor enough shape to need to wet ourselves. Certainly we can manage to disrobe ourselves enough to just leave puddles on the sand?" Rose said. She had already essentially made up her mind, and was starting to bunch up her Seer robes around her waist. She looked up at Terezi with a sheepish grin, seeing what the other girl's reaction was. "Well, I'll do it if you do. And probably even if you don't." 

Terezi hesitated for a moment before suddenly shifting her position. "Yeah, sure, I guess," she said, getting up on her knees and unzipping her pants. She proceeded to shift to a squat, tugging her pants down below her butt and revealing the red panties underneath, which started to slide down next. 

Rose forced herself to look away - as tempting as it was to keep watching her companion, that probably would have been bad form. And anyway, she had her own needs to handle. Rose had already pulled her robes entirely out of the way, so looking down her lower half was only covered by her tights. She grabbed the top of the fabric, hooking her hands underneath the waistband of her panties as well, and with a grunt lifted her rear off the ground and in one swoop tugged the clothing down to her knees. 

"Umph!" Rose grunted as her bare butt landed back down on the white sand below her. It was a new and somewhat uncomfortable sensation, but that was almost drowned out by the feeling of freeness for her crotch. There was nothing in the way of what she needed now, and her bladder ached for release. Rose shifted her legs as far apart as she could get them, and reached back and balanced on her hands behind her. With another grunt she lifted her butt just a bit off the ground again, balancing herself on both her hands and feet. And almost at the same time she let go, allowing a dribble of urine out, then a spurt, and soon enough a full stream. "Ahhhh!" 

"Ahhhh," Terezi seemed to sigh in agreement from nearby. Rose became aware of a pattering of liquid from the same source, and she instinctively glanced up to look. The girl was squatting with her pants and underwear halfway down her thighs, and a spray of teal liquid was pouring out of her and creating a colored puddle on the sand below. Glancing up farther, Rose saw that Terezi had her eyes closed with a huge grin of relief on her face. A bit embarrassed to be staring if Terezi wasn't, Rose averted her gaze back to her own urination. A thick stream was gushing out of her - yellower than usual, since she hadn't taken a leak for a while - and imparting its color to the growing wet patch she was making on the white sand. Her bladder had been so full to start that it felt like she might be peeing forever. However long it was, there wasn't much to do beside hold herself here and enjoy the immense feeling of relief as she pissed. She would probably have been content to just stare vacantly at her stream and the growing puddle it contributed to, but her wandering mind was snapped back to the present when Terezi spoke up. "Alright, miss canteloupe robes, I admit you had a good idea." 

Once again, Rose instinctively glanced up at Terezi, this time seeing the girl look back at her. Her eyes were drawn to the girl's still-flowing pee and the sizable teal wet spot on the sand. Terezi shifted around in her squat a bit, and swayed back and forth, spraying across her puddle and over some fresh sand as well, and Rose couldn't help but curl her mouth to an amused smile. "Yes, I can see why you say that. And I agree on my own behalf."

Terezi chuckled, and reached down to her crotch. Rose couldn't quite see what her hand was doing, since it was hidden behind her thighs and pants, but she was certainly using it to aim herself - Terezi's stream suddenly sprayed out farther forward, and wiggled back and forth between her shins. "Isn't it also considered inappropriate in human culture to watch your companions urinate? Even if they are waving their pee stream around distractingly?" she ribbed, then gave a playful cackle.

"Yes, indeed, I'm sure I'm being quite rude. But in my defense, this is quite an inappropriate situation already. And I don't really have many places to look besides at the events unfolding right in front of me," Rose replied, trying to use some sarcasm to cover up that she wasn't sure she could overcome her fascination and look away. She did glance down at her own stream, still flowing as strong as ever, and rocked her hips back and forth to move it around a bit too. Looking up again, she saw that Terezi seemed to be looking at her. Rose couldn't help but chuckle. "Is it not considered inappropriate in troll culture to watch? Is that why you're staring too?" 

"I'm staring because I don't have anything else to do with these stupid eyes!" Terezi replied, giving a scowl. 

Rose took a moment to weigh whether Terezi's irritation was with her or just with her unwanted sense of sight, and decided it was probably the latter. So she decided to keep up some light joking while both of them continued to empty their seemingly-bottomless bladders onto the beach. "I suppose that makes sense. But are you implying you wouldn't be sniffing this way otherwise? What would human urine even smell like?" 

That question seemed to put Terezi in a better mood, since she proceeded to clamp her eyes closed, stick her nose in Rose's direction, and inhale deeply. "It smells like piss!" she declared with a definitive grin. "And vaguely lemon-y, like if someone peed on a lemon. Mine smells kind of like someone peed on a blue raspberry." 

"Mhmm," Rose said, chuckling at Terezi's assessment. "Is there even such a thing as a blue raspberry, for someone to hypothetically urinate on? And how would it smell differently from a red raspberry, for that matter?" 

Terezi gasped in feigned disgust. "Miss Lalonde! Red and blue raspberries have a subtle but extremely important difference in smell, they -" 

**BARK!**

Rose looked up to the source of the noise - the top of the wizard statue in front of her - and sure enough, standing there was Jade. She was still radiating grimdark energy, and was scowling down at the two urinating girls below. Rose couldn't really do much but offer a sheepish grin. "Um, hello again. You seem to have caught us with our pants down." 

"Yes, I can see that! What do you think you're doing down there?" Jade said, crossing her arms. 

"Relieving ourselves, evidently. Nature called, I'm afraid," Rose replied. She glanced over at Terezi, who was glaring up at Jade but also letting out a few last gushes of urine amid a dribbling flow. Rose's stream was still going strong, but it felt like - finally - she was almost done. 

"Yes, and all over my nice planets I brought back? Sheesh, how rude do you have to be?" 

"I'm afraid urination is a natural bodily function. I know you've turned evil and all, but I'm not sure what you expected. Aren't you part dog, anyway?" Rose said with a shrug. Her stream was finally dwindling, and she figured that just keeping Jade talking was the best course of action until she was completely done.

"Yes! Of course I'm part dog and I know all about peeing! But I'm the alpha dog here so that means I don't take kindly to you guys trying to mark my territory!" Jade said, crossing her arms and stomping her feet on the wizard statue. "In fact I'm going to have to re-mark it right now!" With that she slid one leg to the side, taking a wide stance atop the statue, and flipped her skirt up. Almost immediately she started to let out a spray of piss, arcing through the air in front of her as she swung her hips around. Terezi quickly scrambled away, halfway through re-zipping her pants, as Jade's urine rained down across the sand below.

"Well, okay," Rose said, once again finding herself drawn to staring at a girl urinating in front of her. It was hard for her to not get flustered from what she was seeing from the vantage point she had, so Rose fell back to the comfort of snarking. "So... do you just not wear any underwear so you can do this at a moment's notice?" 

"Sheesh, so many questions! I'm the bad guy now, remember? That means I get to pee wherever I want and that I don't have to wear any panties, so there!" Jade said, giving an exaggerated eye-roll. She continued to pee down from the top of the wizard statue, and started to aim directly at the teal spot in the sand Terezi left. "So I'm just going to cover these up with my own scent, and then no more peeing, either of you. Got it?" 

"No more peeing? That seems like quite an unreasonable demand. Surely you can't expect us to simply forgo our necessary bodily functions, regardless of your sudden villainous transformation," Rose said, cocking an eyebrow at Jade. Grimbark or not, Jade still seemed more or less like Jade, and Rose found it easy to slide into what had been her normal level of sarcasm for talking to her friend. And at least now she had finished her own piss and slid her tights back up. 

"Geez, I just meant not outside the toilet! But, oh, fine. Feel free to piss anywhere and everywhere, see what I care," Jade said with an irritated groan, rolling her eyes again. Meanwhile, her stream was dying down, and soon after she let go of how she had been holding herself to aim and let her remaining piss trickle onto the wizards statue below her. "Ahhhh." When she finished, she slid her legs back together and dropped her skirt down.

"Well, alright, thank you for your generous allowances," Rose said, standing up and crossing her arms with a small smile. "I'll always remember fondly when Jade bestowed upon me the right to urinate freely." 

"You better," Jade said, teleporting down to the ground in front of Rose and grinning at her. "Just know that I'll smell it when you go to the bathroom anywhere unusual, and I'll be there to re-mark my territory. And don't think you can out-pee me, my space powers can refill my bladder whenever needed," Jade said. She stepped one foot forward, straddling the puddle in the sand that Rose had left, and let another stream of urine spray out to prove her point. 

"Incredible. I wonder if my status as a Seer of Light grants me any special powers with regards to my bladder. Perhaps guidance towards ideal places to take a piss?" Rose couldn't help but chuckle at the concept as she watched Jade spray urine over top of the puddle she left. Given how heavily the girl's stream was splattering on the ground, Rose instinctively took a step back, but once again found herself staring at what Jade was doing.

"Well I hope it would guide you towards the toilet!" Jade replied, sticking out her tongue. A moment later her stream cut off abruptly. "If it doesn't, I'll be seeing you again soon." A green flash followed, and with that Jade disappeared.

Rose turned to look at Terezi, who stared back from a distance safely away from where Jade had been peeing. The troll scowled at her again, and they stared silently at each other for a few moments until Terezi spoke up. "Okay, can I have some of that water now? My head hurts even more from having to think about what just happened." 

"Certainly," Rose said, shuffling towards Terezi and uncaptchaloguing two water bottles, one for each of them. She took a long gulp from hers, then gave a murmur of amusement. "I don't know what to think about these events either, really. But I am quite a tempted to avoid the use of indoor plumbing the next time I feel a certain urge."

**Author's Note:**

> Once I came up with the title for this idea I pretty much had to write it right away :P.


End file.
